Hillbilly Medical Terminology

Hillbilly Medical Terminology
Artery The study of fine paintings
Bacteria Back door to cafeteria
Barium What to do if CPR fails
Benign What you are after you be eight
Cesarean Section Some place in Rome
CATscan Looking for kitty
Cauterize Got that purty girl to look at me
Colic A sheep dog
Coma A punctuation mark
D & C Where Washington is
Dilate To live long
Enema Not your friend
Fester Quicker
Fibula A small lie
Hangnail What you hang your coat on
Impotent Distinguished, well known
Labor Pain Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff A Doctor’s cane
Morbid A higher offer than I bid
Nitrates Lower than day rates
Node Was aware of
Outpatient A person who has fainted
Pap Smear A lie about someone’s Pappy
Pelvis Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative A letter carrier
Recovery Room Place to do upholstery
Rectum Damn near killed him
Secretion Hiding anything
Seizure Roman emperor
Tablet A small table
Terminal Illness Getting sick at the airport
Tumor More than one
Urine Opposite of you’re out
Varicose Vein Veins that are very close together

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